One thing Brianna and Ken said from the very beginning of planning their wedding, was they wanted it to be about family. Nice. But...(there's always a "but")...sometimes when you bring a lot of family members together, the divergent personalities can clash, which can be, um, stressful. But, to Brianna and Ken, their marriage wasn't so much about them as it was about their families and a celebration of family. So, the wedding came and the relatives arrived...in droves...by car, by plane, across miles...all there to celebrate Brianna and Ken.
Family past:
Brianna's father and I have been divorced for over 20 years now. Far from a friendly divorce, it was more acrimonious than amicable. But the years have passed and we've both mellowed. We've set aside our youthful egos and we get along just fine. We don't see each other or even talk with each other much now that the girls are grown, but we are there together for big occasions like graduations, weddings, and someday grandchildren.
I used to get knots in my stomach before having to face Doug in person when we first divorced. But I've long since forgiven and mostly forgotten the bad stuff between us, and when I see Doug now, I see the father of my children...he loves them and they love him and that's good. That being said, I do still tread with caution when we meet up and when I interact with his family. I like my ex-in-laws...I think fondly of them. But when I see them at the rare family function, I often wonder if they will be receptive to my desire to want to visit and say hello...blood is thicker than water, and I always wonder if they perhaps harbor ill-will for the messy divorce Doug and I had.
Well...for this occasion...my qualms were unfounded. Everyone was friendly and helpful and happy for Brianna and Ken. I had so much fun with Doug's two daughters...they are both adorable, smart and funny. The neatest thing is how much they like Eric's daugther Piper, sitting on her lap, holding her hand...and it just seemed natural.
Doug's brother John and his wife Michelle, were there also. I always liked John and we greeted each other with a big hug and geniune smiles. Later John and Michelle sat and chatted with Eric and I at the after party. I really enjoyed their company and it was easy to remember why I liked them so much.
Also present was Doug's great Uncle Bill. Ya gotta love this guy. In his 80's and he still gets around like a man at least 20 years younger. He has so many interesting stories to tell, and since he was staying at the same hotel we were, we ran into him several times and enjoyed sharing a cup of coffee and conversation.
And then there were my ex- parent-in-laws. Doug's father has been ill and was in a wheelchair. He looked older than when I saw him last. I remember him as a glass half-full kind of guy...and I could see from the look on his face, he still had that positive spark in him. I didn't get to talk with him, since he had to go rest after the wedding,but I did visit with my ex-mother-in-law at the reception. She's still amazingly sharp, and mobile. I spoke with her as she was leaving. She had made up a to-go bag with treats from the wedding to bring back to her husband since he couldn't make the reception...how sweet.
It was strange. The memories of bad things between Doug and I seemed like nothing more than old faded photographs shoved in a shoebox at the back of some closet. For this joyful weekend, our mutual love for Brianna, and Jessica, and Sara took center stage. It was good. It was how it should have always been... It may have taken a long time, but at least we finally got to this point. Hopefully, that counts for something.
The Johnston Clan.
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